Divorce Support Group: Divorced Parents

Divorced Parents Unite to Discuss Issues and Support One Another
Madeline Binder, M.S.Ed, M.S. Human Services Counseling

Today, if you are married, you have about a 50 percent chance of divorcing. Divorce can occur after one year of marriage or after 25 years, there are no time limits on it. However, no matter when it occurs, divorce creates emotional, legal, family, professional and financial problems that you have to deal with.

Many divorced people hope that after the divorce is over that everything in their life will miraculously be better. Unfortunately this is not the case, as the consequences of divorce have long term effects on your life. To deal with the consequences, divorced parents, and yes, their children, can benefit from a divorce support group. By getting support for yourself you will be able to focus on your children's needs, and in a child centered divorce, this is of the upmost importance.

Finding a Divorce Support Group

To find a divorce support group you can tap several resources. Your first source of support groups is your local community center. Churches and Synagogues also offer family oriented support groups for divorced parents. Your final option is to contact mental health or medical centers. These centers tend to offer a variety of counseling groups that you can join, including ones for divorced parents. However, if you can’t find a support group in your community, or you can’t find you want to join, then you have the option of setting one up yourself.

Setting Up Your Own Divorce Support Group for Divorced Parents

Divorced mothers and fathers have a unique set of concerns that divorcees with no kids have. Because of this, it is very beneficial for divorced parents to work together to discuss problems they are having with their children of divorced parents, to find solutions to these problems and to just lend an ear to a parent who needs to talk about their fears, emotions and situation. If you are starting your own support group, then the first thing you need to do is find a focus for the group. For example, you can be just an informal group that meets to talk or you can be a therapeutic group that is lead by a trained counselor.

If you want to develop an informal support group then you will still need to establish rules and protocols for the group. Rules will need to focus on confidentiality of the group discussions, respect for the members of the group and rules about who is allowed to join. The protocols will focus on how to join, how to communicate within the group and how to start a dialogue during the group meeting. Remember that the moderator for the group will be coming up with the main topics of discussion and guiding the discussions, so you will need someone who is not shy about being assertive and talking in front of a group of people.

If you want your group sessions to be therapeutic, then you are going to need a trained counselor to moderate your sessions. If you are a trained psychologist then you can moderate the group, or if you know a trained counselor then you can ask them to moderate the group. If you are 0 for 2, then try talking to a local minister or rabbi to see if they would be willing to moderate the group.

After finding a moderator for the group, your next task will be to find a location for your meetings. You can hold the meetings in your home, you can rotate meetings between various members’ homes or you can find a permanent third party location for the meetings. Community club houses, restaurants, churches, synagogues, schools and other public buildings can all be great meeting locations.

Your final step will be to recruit members for your divorced parents support group. You can do this by inviting people you know who are divorced, by placing an ad in a local newspaper, by placing an ad online or by posting a notice on a bulletin board.

Madeline Binder, M.S.Ed, M.S. Human Services Counseling is author of Smart Divorce ebook... How to PARENT HAPPY, HEALTHY KIDS...Step-by-Step Strategies for Helping Your Children During and After Your Divorce. Her ebook will help you to calm the waters and show you that the children and divorce effects that everyone talks about do not have to be devasting. You and your children will not just survive, but thrive!

And you may want to look at smart divorce resources that are available to support you at different stages of your journey.