Baldwin-Basinger would have benefited from Child-Centered Divorce

By Rosalind Sedacca, CCT

In his long career, award-winning author and family law attorney, Ed Sherman, has experienced it all -- the acrimony, bitter custody battles and prolonged legal dramas played out in courtrooms day after day.  According to Sherman, "in our adversarial system, courts are a forum where people are expected to fight - it's designed that way!"

Little wonder so many couples facing divorce have been led into an ordeal that ultimately benefits only the divorce attorneys. With the Alec Baldwin-Kim Basinger case just the latest in a never-ending progression of high-profile examples of our legal system at its worst, it's time to step back and take the sound advice of attorney Sherman.

"In a sane universe," notes Sherman," people who are breaking up would be guided through a non-adversarial process of conciliation." He explains that people would be encouraged to think about what's best - and most fair -- for the kids first. Then couples would be encouraged to work with trained mediators and negotiators, rather than litigators.

The result would be a win-win solution for all involved. Well, maybe except for certain litigators who thrive in the depths of an adversarial legal system. Today's dysfunctional divorce system, Sherman notes, encourages battle. "The more trouble you have, the more money your attorney makes," he reminds us. The rules of professional conduct promote your attorney to be aggressive and we've been conditioned to believe that is a good thing. "But it isn't," says Sherman. "It produces rich attorneys and tragedies like the Baldwin-Basinger family, every day by the hundreds."
In his award-winning book, How to Make Any Divorce Better, he provides expertise to help you reduce conflict and stay out of court.  The book is based on 30 years of successful experience and thousands of cases.
Thankfully, more and more attorneys are embracing what is being referred to as Complementary Divorce. These attorneys, along with mediators, focus their attention on creating as harmonious a resolution as possible, especially for couples with children. I call this process Child-Centered Divorce and am encouraging all professionals to educate their divorcing clients about the life-supporting and lasting advantages this concept provides for the entire family.

The Child-Centered Divorce philosophy should begin before you ever break the news to your children. That, of course, is the philosophy behind my new ebook, How Do I Tell the Kids About the Divorce? Using a storybook format, including photos and personal information about their family history, the book becomes a resource children can read over and over again, to help prepare them - with love and compassion - for the many changes ahead.

Ed Sherman's book and related products can be accessed through his website at Tell Ed you learned about him through Rosalind Sedacca's Child-Centered Divorce ezine. Thanks.

Rosalind Sedacca, CCT, has been facilitating relationship seminars and workshops for more than fifteen years. As a Certified Corporate Trainer and professional speaker, she now focuses her attention on coaching troubled families on how to create a "child-centered divorce." For other free articles on this subject, to receive her free ezine, and/or to order her book, How Do I Tell the Kids about the DIVORCE? A Create-a-Storybook Guide to preparing your children -- with love, Rosalind invites you to visit her website,

Rosalind Sedacca 2007 All rights reserved.